Wednesday, July 29, 2015

What Dreams May Come

It was in the ethereal world of sensations, ideals and memories when I dreamed about her last night.

I was back in the town where I grew up. In the succession of confused, smokey images, I was running from yard to yard yelling her name, “Maxie! Maaaaxxxxiiiiiiieeeee!” Then mumbling in my snarky way, “Where are you you stupid little dog!” Hunting everywhere for my little girl. Getting more and more frantic. A sudden, overpowering fear. Alas, she was nowhere to be found! I lost her. I awoke teary eyed with the realization that she is gone. Never to return to this Earthly plane.

It’s been almost two years since she succumbed to the ravages of Cushings Disease. Why dream about her now? Perhaps it’s because the family is in turmoil. Or because we daily learn that blameless babies are being chopped up and body parts sold with a sanction by the government. Could be the ear infection I have right now. Or how the food prices keep going up, and our tiny annuity keeps going down. It seems to never end. In my heart I must be searching for that little security blanket wrapped in grey fur that would sit in my lap, to make that caused discomfiture go away. That’s what Maxie did. She had that gift. Whenever I felt unhappy, unloved, frightened, or unsettled, she would make the bad evaporate. Her joyful innocence for life brought contentment that would always affect my countenance positively. She was a ray of sunshine on four legs. I really miss fuzzy britches.

Well, because I know that life is important, I must soldier on.  This is not a single human incident embedded in a sea of souls with perfect lives. Everyone has their sack of rocks to carry. It’s time to pick up the pieces, build new memories with The Boys, and strive to be happy.

And just trust God.

“Make a joyful noise unto the LORD,
all the earth; make a loud noise, and rejoice, and sing praise.”
Psalms 98:4


Thistle Cove Farm said...

just trust God. wise words to live by and to heed. Pam, I keep saying, "God has a plan" but it's with less enthusiasm. It seems dark days with the current administration; darkness surrounds us but it's only a trick of the evil one.
Our God reigns.

Wiregrass Steve said...

I miss little "Fuzzy Britches" too. I will always have the joy of my memories of her. No entity can take that away.

Monkeywrangler said...

I miss my Charlie like you miss your Maxie. But I see so many things in Indy that remind me so much of Charlie, that it is almost like he is still with me. Indy is so different, yet shares so much in common.

It is good that you are making new memories with the Boys. They sure seem to be a pair of characters! No dog will ever fill that Maxie sized hole in your heart, but they each will make their own special hole in your heart that makes knowing them so worthwhile.

Anonymous said...

I know you miss that little sweetie. Each pet seems to have a special personality that feels a need in our lives. Nothing can quite ever match that but as you say, we have to strive on. No matter how long we have our pets, it seems too short, doesn't it? But, I'm thankful for the years we do have and the multitude of GOOD memories. We just have to make NEW memories but reserve a special place in our minds for those we've lost. God bless. Love you.

Anonymous said...

that should have been "fills" a need sorry

Sparky said...

Y'all are so sweet! Thanks everyone for understanding. Your kindness and wise words mean more to me than words can express. I pray that everyone has a wonderful, happy, blessed evening.
Luv ~:)

Linda E said...

You are an excellent writer. Do you have any books published? Dreams can certainly seem real and at times, one can wake up exhausted. I can feel your sadness about your Maxie. I am with you...all seems to be going down, down, down, but we have to pull ourselves up by our boot straps and onward go!

DaBlade said...

This was beautifully written and almost reads like a poem. Keep on keepin' on Sparky. Let us carry the rocks once in a while for ya and we will let you do the same for us!

Vee said... that's a mighty fine word and well explains the way many of us are feeling. Good essay!