Funny Friday ~ Jokes To Sleigh You

With the Christmas Season upon us I would like to share a personal experience with my friends about drinking and driving. As you may know some of us have been known to have brushes with the authorities from time to time on the way home after a "social session" with some friends.

Well, two days ago I was out for an evening with friends and had several beers followed by a couple of bottles of some rather nice red wine with our dinner.

Although feeling only a little jolly, I still had the sense to know that I may be slightly over the limit.

That's when I did something that I've never done before: I took a cab.

Sure enough, on the way home there was a police Ride® roadblock but since it was a cab, they waved us past and I arrived home safely without any incident.

This was a real surprise.

 

As I had never driven a cab before.

 

I don't know where I got it.

 

And now that it's in my garage, I don't know what to do with it.

So if you want to borrow it for your holiday travels, give me a call.

~ Ride Safe ~

Sparky

Baby It's Cold Outside

After 7 years of owning this thing, we finally fired up the fire pit. The fire jumped up so high I'll bet satellites could pick it up! [ha ha] It's only about 46 degrees, which is downright balmy compared to what many of my friends are going through tonight further North, but hey, this is chilly for Southeastern Georgia!

I bundled up nonetheless. I have a propensity towards sore throats, so, I'm not taking any chances! I've been plagued with this since a child. I hate taking antibiotics.

 

"The Boys", Jack and Sam the Jack Russell Terrorists "helped". Yeah, riiiiight! [lol] Lucy, the boxer, stayed inside. She's having trouble with her right rear wheel. Her ankle keeps giving out on her and many days she can barely walk. Poor thing. I can relate to how rough it is to get old.

I was hoping we would witness the meteor shower that's suppose to be this evening. Alas, no luck. I do enjoy weather and atmospheric events.

Have a great evening folks!

~ Ride Safe ~

Sparky

The New 12 Days of Christmas #ObamasTwelveDaysOfChristmas

This was inspired by the #ObamasTwelveDaysOfChristmas hashtag game on Twitter. Special h/t to Jon McNaughton for the image used at #10. See more of his amazing art at jonmcnaughton.com.
Also a h/t to Patriot Post for the image at #9.
I found this at fellow TEA party patiot's blog Fuzzy Slippers.

Bonus "joke", It's A Wonderful Lie

Two Minutes With The Bible ~ What Is Grace?

What Is Grace?

by Pastor Cornelius R. Stam

Berean Bible Society
Printer Friendly Version

“The father of lies” always hates the truth, but he does not always oppose it by the same methods. If he fails to succeed as a roaring lion he may appear as an angel of light, suggesting that surely a God of love will not condemn Christ-rejectors forever. Sinners, he will contend, are not responsible for their sins anyway, for does not Eph. 1:11 teach that “[God] worketh all things after the counsel of His own will”? And thus God Himself is supposed to have conceived the idea of sin as “a gracious means to a glorious end,” and to have caused man to fall into sin so that He might finally save him from it!

Why an almighty, all-wise, all-loving God permitted sin to enter the universe must, for the time being, remain an impenetrable mystery to us, but one thing is certain: He is not the author of sin, and never accepts the responsibility for it — except that in grace and love He bore its penalty for man.

God calls sinners “children of disobedience” and “children of wrath” (Eph. 2:2,3), explaining in the clearest language that He hates sin and that His anger is kindled against it (Rom. 1:18; Eph. 5:6; John 3:36). But if God meant man to sin and caused him to sin, how was man disobedient and what cause could God have to be angry? Those who would shift the responsibility for sin from themselves to God should remember that He proclaimed His standards of righteousness in the Law “that every mouth may be stopped and that all the world may be brought in guilty before God” (Rom. 3:19).

The contention that all will finally be saved may at first sound like wonderful grace, but actually there is not one particle of grace in it, for it is based on the theory that since God got us into sin it is only just that He save us from its penalty. But grace is God’s mercy and kindness to the undeserving. In Eph. 2, after calling sinners “children of disobedience” and therefore “children of wrath,” the Apostle Paul goes on to say:

“BUT GOD, who is RICH IN MERCY, for His GREAT LOVE wherewith he loved us… hath quickened us… raised us up… and made us sit together in heavenly places in Christ Jesus; that in the ages to come He might show THE EXCEEDING RICHES OF HIS GRACE IN HIS KINDNESS TOWARD US THROUGH CHRIST JESUS” (Eph. 2:4-7).

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To the Reader:
Some of our Two Minutes articles were written many years ago by Pastor C. R. Stam for publication in newspapers. When many of these articles were later compiled in book form, Pastor Stam wrote this word of explanation in the Preface:

"It should be borne in mind that the newspaper column, Two Minutes With the Bible, has now been published for many years, so that local, national and international events are discussed as if they occurred only recently. Rather than rewrite or date such articles, we have left them just as they were when first published. This, we felt, would add to the interest, especially since our readers understand that they first appeared as newspaper articles."

We hope that you'll agree that while some of the references in these articles are dated, the spiritual truths taught therein are timeless.

 

Christmas Tree And Other Decorations

I've been intending to share my Christmas decorations and tree with y'all for days now. I kept forgetting. I've had these up since the day after Thanksgiving. (My bad.)

We live way out in the country on a single lane dirt road with over 4 acres that are cleared. The home, that we had built in 1993, is a good 350 feet or so off the road with lots of mature trees and undergrowth between us passersby. I've had to remember to focus on where I want to decorate so as not to over spend since we're about the only ones that get to enjoy the display. I quit doing lights when I was so sick all those years. Now I'm out of the habit and too lazy. I do keep most all my decorations from year to year but come next Holiday season, I get the hankerin' to go shopping and get more! (I'm such a sucker for atmosphere.) My tactic now is to wait until after the season is over and then get them greatly discounted. Yeah, I know, most everyone does that. [smile]

Even though it's just the two of us that can see it, I start at the front door, front porch and windows facing the road.

Then I move down to the gate. Because of all the fallen leaves, I had to mow a little first to clear the area. There are two planters there for seasonal artificial flowers. I try to always decorate them with colors that are festive for that season (you know: Spring, Summer, Fall, Winter). I also hang windchimes and other nice, gentle things. I told you, I'm a sucker for atmosphere.

As in years past, I positioned plastic candy canes along the driveway. Oh, and my Hubby made the little green birdhouse with painted pictures on it. I know y'all can't see it in the photo but it's so lovely. He creates the nicest wood projects. That man is so gifted. He really spoils me.

 

Then I decorated the planter on the other side of the gate, the gate itself and the side gate for good measure. (I know, I need to repaint the side gate. It's really showing it's age ... like me! ha ha) 

Not many get to see it but at least the mailman can enjoy the festive decorations and I can too when I tramp out there to get the mail.

Now, I can move back into the house and finish up there.

 

And now, without any further ado [clearing throat] the pièce de résistance! The Christmas tree. I call it my abbreviated version this year because of the Jack Russell Terrorists (Jack and Sam). They're 5 months old and at a chewing stage. Could you see all those lovely handmade decorations dangling at eye level?!! OH NO!! So, I just used the top of the artificial on the coffee table. Pretty cool, huh? There's more than one way to skin a cat ... opps, I should say, a Jack Russell? [lol]

O christmas tree
O christmas tree, o christmas tree,
With faithful leaves unchanging;
O christmas tree, o christmas tree,
With faithful leaves unchanging;
Not only green in summer's heat,
But also winter's snow and sleet,
O christmas tree, o christmas tree,
With faithful leave unchanging.
O christmas tree, o christmas tree,
Of all the trees most lovely;
O christmas tree, o christmas tree,
Of all the trees most lovely;
Each year, you bring to me delight
Gleaming in the christmas night.
O christmas tree, o christmas tree,
Of all the trees most lovely.
Not only green in summer's heat,
But also winter's snow and sleet,
O christmas tree, o christmas tree,
With faithful leave unchanging.

~ Ride Safe ~

Sparky

You Picked A Fine Time To Leave Me Blue Shield #ObamaCare

Anyone else losing their health care? Even if not yet, it's comin'. Obama's goal is for everyone in America to lose health care insurance, and then be completely dependent on his false god of Government.



Obama is pure, unadulterated evil. I feel so sad every time his mug is on TV (which is way too often for that much hot air). I can find no redeeming value about this man. And the people who voted for him are useful fools or equally evil with their own hate filled agenda. If a person so much as criticizes him, they get audited by his strong arm thugs the I.R.S. If people protest when he's near, they get arrested. All these actions are illegal and immoral. I guess even I take a chance by pointing out the self-appointed emperor has no clothes.

He's definitely a legend in his own mind. Actually, he is a Legion in a minefield but he doesn't know it. And that Legion will be the one's that carry him straight to eternal damnation if he doesn't get saved. I keep praying that he'll give his heart to Jesus Christ but, apparently, just as the Pharaoh of old when Moses wanted to lead the Israelites out of bondage to freedom, Obama keeps hardening his heart too. [read Exodus for the whole story] His goal is to add more bondage to our lives. I just hope we won't have 40 years of wandering in the desert after this vile America hater is gone. We have enough desert to wander through now with the likes of 'Helicopter Ben' Bernanke keeping the interest rates low and inflation high. (Planned and deliberate by the wealthy Left like George Soros, by the way.) All of which punishes savers and the elderly. The next scheduled Fed chief, Janet Yellen, is reported to be even more of an economy wrecker! She's of the mind that there's not enough inflation. [Forbes Magazine]

Lord save us!

Right now I have to figure out how to make our meager earnings go yet another 30 days. I keep running out of days before I run out of money.

~ Ride Safe ~

Sparky

Two Minutes With The Bible ~ Encouragement to A Weary Soldier

Encouragement to A Weary Soldier

by Pastor Cornelius R. Stam

Berean Bible Society
Printer Friendly Version

During his ministry at Corinth, the strain of battle began telling on the Apostle Paul. He found himself haunted by fear and depression. Later he wrote of it.

“I was with you in weakness, and in fear, and in much trembling” (ICor. 2:3).

It must not be supposed that fearlessness was characteristic of a nature so sensitive as Paul’s. On the contrary, he was often afraid. His, by the grace of God, was rather the courage that went on braving dangers in spite of his fears.

After having left the synagogue at Corinth, the strain of meeting, week after week, right next door, with all the embarrassing situations inevitably involved, may well have caused some of his followers, and possible himself, to question the wisdom and propriety of the step he had taken, adding to his mental depression (though this step, moving into the home of Justus, next door, was most appropriate under the circumstances). But the Lord was to endorse the act again in an unmistakable way.

It would appear from several passages in the Second Epistle to the Thessalonians (especially II Thessalonians 3:1,2), that this letter was written while Paul was becoming apprehensive about the work at Corinth and that it was after this that the Lord appeared to him in a vision to encourage him.

Let the reader try to place himself in Paul’s position while reading Verses 9,10 of Acts 18 so as to appreciate its force more fully:

“Then spake the Lord to Paul in the night by a vision, BE NOT AFRAID,–BUT SPEAK,–AND HOLD NOT THY PEACE:–FOR I AM WITH THEE,–AND NO MAN SHALL SET ON THEE TO HURT THEE;–FOR I HAVE MUCH PEOPLE IN THIS CITY.”

Ah, tomorrow he could begin the work anew, assured in advance of the outcome! Whether he “continued” in Corinth (Verse 11) a year and six months longer or all together is perhaps impossible to ascertain, but we know that his ministry there was exceedingly fruitful.

---

To the Reader:
Some of our Two Minutes articles were written many years ago by Pastor C. R. Stam for publication in newspapers. When many of these articles were later compiled in book form, Pastor Stam wrote this word of explanation in the Preface:

"It should be borne in mind that the newspaper column, Two Minutes With the Bible, has now been published for many years, so that local, national and international events are discussed as if they occurred only recently. Rather than rewrite or date such articles, we have left them just as they were when first published. This, we felt, would add to the interest, especially since our readers understand that they first appeared as newspaper articles."

We hope that you'll agree that while some of the references in these articles are dated, the spiritual truths taught therein are timeless.