Tuesday, February 2, 2016

An Update


I feel like the above photo captures my recent diet efforts. It seems as though as soon as I get serious about losing weight, a flat tire puts me on the side lines leaving me with carrying all those extra "tires" a little longer. *sigh* I don't know why I keep gaining weight. I'm don't eat "anything".

(excuse me ... dropped my candy bar ...)

Oh, the hip pain has improved but if I walk more than I should BLAM the burning pain returns.

So ... here I sit on the comfy sofa with an ice pack under the posterior (TMI?!), moping around, hoping that Victor, or anyone, will saunter by and regale me with a few jokes. Laughing out loud burns calories ... riiiigggght?!

The weather has been unseasonably warm and humid but very pleasant. If my body cooperates, I'd like to get started on the Spring garden. Time ta plant 'dem 'taters, as we are want to say here in the South.

By the way, Blogger is messing with my head again. I send a post out into cyber space and it may take up to a full day to show up in some feeds. Stupid Google programmers. Give me someone to fire! *lol*

Have a blessed day.

9 comments:

Linda Eller said...

Now that is a load of tires, and I feel like that 99% of the time. Glad to hear your hip is feeling a 'little' better and pray each day will give you more relief. Getting out in that garden spot, in the sunshine would be good medicine, but not until you dont back peddle and injury yourself again. Hope the Turmeric will help you as it has me.

Victor S E Moubarak said...

It says in the Bible that God made man in His own image (Genesis 1:26). Humans have a sense of humour; so I suppose it is safe to say that God too has a sense of humour. At least I hope I'm right - otherwise we're all in big trouble !!!

With this in mind, here are some medical jokes to lighten your day, Sparky. I hope you like them.

A man runs to the doctor and says, "Doctor, you've got to help me. My wife thinks she's a chicken!"

The doctor asks, "How long has she had this condition?"

"Two years," says the man.

"Then why did it take you so long to come and see me?" asked the shrink.

The man shrugs his shoulders and replies, "We needed the eggs."

*******

The doctor gave the medicine to the patient and explained that he should take it on alternate days. He said: “Take the medicine on Monday, skip Tuesday, take it on Wednesday, skip Thursday, take it Friday, skip Saturday and so on …”

Two weeks later the doctor rang the patient to see how he is getting on. The wife replied: “He’s in hospital. All that skipping gave him a heart attack”.

*******

Last time I went to hospital for a check up they took a head-to-toe X Ray of me. They showed me the pictures.

Funny, I don't remember eating all them bones!

*******

I went to see my doctor. As I got in he asked me to lie on the couch. I asked him why? He said: Because I want to vacuum clean where you're standing.

*******

I went to see the psychiatrist. I told him I feel depressed and that the whole family treats me like a dog. He asked: How long has this been going on?

I said: Ever since I was a puppy.

He asked me to lie on the couch. I told him I am not allowed on the couch.

He accidentally dropped his pencil and it rolled to the other end of the room.

I told him to fetch it himself. I am not his dog.

*******

The doctor gave a pack of suppositories to the patient and explains: Put one in your back passage every evening before going to bed and come back and see me in a week.

The patient goes home and every evening he goes out of the house through the back door and leaves a suppository in a passage behind the house leading to the back garden.

After a week he returns to the doctor.

"Has the medicine made you any better?" asks the doctor.

"Hell no ..." replies the patient, "I might as well have put them up my backside for all the good they did!"

*******

Praying you feel better soon Sparky. Keep smiling. God bless you.


Sparky said...

@Linda Eller ~ The turmeric sounds like it'll be just the ticket. Thank you again for suggesting it.
@Victor ~ OMGoodness! I must have lost 5 pounds laughing so hard. I could hear Hubby hollerin', "What ARE you laughing at?!" He laughed too. Thank you for the 'cure' to what ails me.
Hope y'all have a blessed evening.

Ed Bonderenka said...

Victor is good medicine.

Simply Linda said...

LOL with Victor...always can count on him...have a beautiful day, pouring rain here, Sparky. POURING is an understatement.

DaBlade said...

HEY!!! are you done with that candy bar? and those tires look like they have enough tread let for dozens of miles.

Sparky said...

@Ed ~ Victor is definitely a shot in the ... well, in something. *giggle* He's always reliable for cheering one up.
@Simply Linda ~ It's raining here too. I think it's time for some retail therapy, don't you? *grin*
@DaBlade ~ I was pondering the same thing, as in, maybe I could sell them and actually make a profit this year instead of sending to the Gooberment.
Y'all have a splendid day! ~:)

Alec said...

There are plenty of worse things than a few spare tires. The hip pain though, hope that goes away soon.

Victor - wonderful. :)

Monkeywrangler said...

Sparky, two suggestions for you. #1 try a heating pad for the hip pain instead of ice. Heat usually works better for me, and new research is showing that ice slows healing. #2 you have probably cut back your food intake too far. Try eating a little more, esp. of the healthy stuff, more often and plan in some snacks each day. Your body's metabolism is a master at holding onto every microgram of fat if it thinks you are starving it.