Thursday, October 16, 2014

Blog Swan Song

And I do too.

I do apologize for not posting more often of late.

Ok, I know everyone is tired of hearing this, [not as tired as I am of thinking about it] but I just can't shake the sadness that seems to envelope my very being since Maxie died.

She was "just a dog" to everyone else. Maxie was my little buddy. We where like peas and carrots, little Fuzzy Britches and me.

Sometimes I still catch what I think is a glimpse of her little grey body bouncing around in the corner of my eye.

Or I think I hear her whine for that cotton pickin' ball, she couldn't live without!

And I'll catch myself starting to call her to get a "cookie".

But ... she's ... not ... there. And never will be again. And the silent tears stain my cheeks for the 10,000th time.

"Maybe I can will her back to me again," I muse. Or perhaps a clone?

Nahhhh, it's only wishful thinking.

Alas, I haven't that gift.

To compound the agony of eternal separation from my beloved best friend, our last "vacation" to Florida left me drained, miserable, forlorn, beaten. My once favorite sister-in-law, that I thought really cared for me, went out of her way to make me feel small. It was so awful I thought she was channeling her evil step-mother! Dang!

Now, I can't get into writing or commenting much anymore.

After a heart wrenching decision I've decided that after 6+ years of pouring my heart out to a network of virtual strangers who have become closer than family, I want to "retire".

This is possibly my blog's Swan Song.

Or I may be a total diva and return if there's enough clamoring. *lol*

Rather than just disappear, and since it fits into my always present desire to always leave things neatly finished, I thought I'd share that it's been a real pleasure to meet all of you. Some fellow bloggers have disappeared mysteriously. Others we've parted ways amicably. But most of you have become real true blue friends. I thank you all from the bottom of my heart for letting me into your hearts, homes, and thoughts. I will still continue to pray for you all, as I also continue to pray for this once great Nation to turn back to our Judeo-Christian principles.

Please do e-mail or tweet or call if so desired. I'll still be on the 'net.

And if you see me on the road, be sure to smile and wave.

God bless and stay well out there.

Forever Yours.

Ride Safe,


Lulu James said...

So sorry about you loosing your best buddy---I have cried MANY a tear of my canine friends. I am praying after a break--you come back. We will welcome you with open arms! God Bless You!

Linda E said...

I am sad. Sad about your precious little friend, but sad that you are giving up on blogging. I just got to know, enjoy and appreciate you, and now I dont get any more....:(
I do pray time away will help and you will come back. If not, know I pray for you, and I will be here waiting to hear from you.

Anonymous said...

So sorry for your loss of your little buddy. Thankful to have met you thru blogging. You two will always be special and of course, you can always contact me.

Patsy said...

I understand, It as been 10 years that we lost our special pet and we could not replace him. We still think about him and remember and smile about some of the things he did over the 17 years he was with us.
As far as mean family members only time will heal the way you fell. Even Paul said people who caused divisions don't confront them just avoid them.

Lisa said...

very nice of you to express yourself here. It's been so long I almost forgot about you until I saw you comment on Geez today.
Sadness about a dog is something I totally understand all too well. I am on my 3rd most spoiled one. After I lost my first one it took me 5 years to get another and then only 2 weeks after that one because I forgot what I was missing all those years.
I try to rationalize where they would have been without us. We alwasy hurt more than they do,we are human after all.
Maybe one day you can get a new little friend to help fill the void. There are so many out there who have much love to give.
Godspeed Sparky

Sparky said...

@Readers ~ Thanks everyone for the kind words and thoughts. Perhaps I'll return to Blogland in the future. For now I need an extended break. I'm such a diva. *lol* I'll still pop by and read y'alls blogs.

@Lisa ~ I like your blog too but I see you got stuck with Duckie. I'd rather not "go there" with that Leftist. He's tiresome.

Stay well my friends. ~:)

Lisa said...

Thanks Sparky he is a piece of work for sure

Lanny said...

Hey, my email sent me a message about this shenanigans you are pulling, dropping off the blog scene, sheesh.

Hey friend, I am with you on the grief over a fur buddy. I've been racked with sobs more than once in my life that is for durn sure. But I have the biggest heart break yet just around the corner. 35 year old horse, she's been mine for nearly 30. My partner in early mommyhood escaping, drill team buddy and then I spent so many years cheering and smiling as my buddy became my girls' buddy for barrel racing. Every winter for the last three years I hold my breath, knowing that... And now this year, oh dear.. Yeah, I get not being able to recover. But after loosing my parents one by one, loosing relationships, loosing children to adulthood, loosing fur buddies, I've come to the conclusion we aren't supposed to recover, get over, get through it. What we do is absorb it, take it in. It, the loss, just becomes another part of us, just like the gains, the gain of spouses, life missions, homes, children, fur buddies. The hurt and the joy, yeah, they are inseparable. You can't take the one out and have the other, they are together.

Didn't that make you feel better? Just call me Debbie Downer. But it is true, not that it helps.

I hope you return to the blog world.

Simply Linda said...

Sparky Spark! Don't delete the blog...just pop in whenever you feel like it..I don't know what to say about to comfort you...I am afraid I will mess up --I gotta a pretty good ear...(wink)

OH BAH HUM BUG! On your sil..shameful...just shameful. BTW, Love your header...waving to Steve..please do keep in touch when you feel like it..I know..I I was just telling Bonnie, my emails are getting few and far inbetween..but rest assure, I will email is snail mail...just failing behind...Blessings sweet friends..

Carol B. said...

Oh, Sparky... I'm so sorry. I know it's hard. I lost 2 very special fur-babies and I still miss them dearly.

Even though I met you just a few short weeks ago, I hate the thought of you disappearing into cyber-space. I will be sad to lose you as a friend. I hope you pop in occasionally and say HI, let me know you're ok? God bless you, dear lady. You're in my prayers.

Monkeywrangler said...

Sparky, you know I get it, regarding losing a furchild. Consider yourself hugged. If you need a blog break, by all means, take one. But I hope you come back. And I look forward to your visits to my little piece of the blogosphere.

Sparky said...

Thanks y'all. ((Hugs)) back. :) Maybe I just need to go somewhere and "get lost" for awhile. (speaking mentally, of course) It's always nice to take a break. Having friends like y'all makes everything so much more pleasant. Thank you, thank you, THANK YOU for understanding!!!

LUV ~:)

Nanny Goats In Panties said...

Sparky, I am indeed very sorry for the loss of one of your best companions in life. :(

And I hate that you had such an awful time in Florida. That SUX! What the hell was up her butt anyway? :(

And I think everyone seems to be blogging less and less, including me. I will probably see you around though, whether it's Facebook, Schmoopiegram, or whatever other social edia they'll keep us addicted to. XOXOXOXO - Margaret

DaBlade said...

"Or I may be a total diva and return..." :)
Hey, we can do a drum roll timpani to add suspense to your return! Take a break and hopefully we'll see you on the flip side my friend!

White Lace and Promises said...

Oh sweet girl. I will email you when you come to mind because you do often. I am so sorry for your pain as I know what's it's like to be so hurt by family. It's the most difficult pain of all. Friends come and go but family should be forever. I too am sorry about your baby. I think it would take years for my children to recover from that kind of loss. My grand Charlie dog was Christy's baby through the years of infertility and she says he's getting a baby sister now. My prayers go with you but you won't get rid of me so easily. Take care and find healing my friend and when you want to share, you can still share.

Z said...

Sparky, I am SO SORRY about the loss of your little pal; it's HORRIBLE, isn't it. That unconditional love is difficult to replace.
And then what felt like a betrayal by your sis-in-law; that feels LOUSY, doesn't it.

KNow we all think a lot of you and hope that you return, rested and ready to fight the good fight again. You'll be missed until then.
(you're right about that dastardly Ducky, who is almost the only reason I finally switched from Blogger to WOrdPress, where he CAN'T comment anymore!)
hugs and blessings, your friend Z

Thistle Cove Farm said...

I understand, on all counts; it's terrifically difficult to keep going so...take a blog break for as long as you need. Pam, people are either takers or givers and, mostly, takers. I'm beyond sick of most of them; that's terrible but it's true.

Vee said...

Oh dear...had not realized how intensely you were feeling things. I hope that you are able to return to blogging when you are ready. So sorry that there have been so many challenges. Praying for you that things will start looking brighter because they will be.

Porcupinetaxi said...

DonT Give up! It's now you need the blog more than ever. Don't you realize that? You need the outlet! Don't keep your feelings bottled up in side.