I just can't seem to shake it ... the overwhelming saddness I have felt since Maxie died.
It's been nearly a week.
I thought I would "feel better" by now. I think I've tried everything: cleaning the house, putting away or throwing out her things, talking to Sweetie about it, going for long walks, getting enough sleep, a B-12 shot, prayer, reading God's Word. We even had our good friends over (in whom's company I always enjoy) and watched our favorite funny movie "Young Frankenstein".
Nope. I'm still a dope.
I still see her in my mnd's eye. I can still feel her near me and I start crying all over again. I can't concentrate or feel happy about anything. I'm scared to death to ride. Case in point: I almost had a bad accident when I lost a dear friend to ovarian cancer in January 2007. We went for a ride on our respective metal steeds soon after Maggie went to Heaven and I almost ran mine off the road! Thank goodness the new rumble strips on the roadsides shook me out of the stupor and I put the bike back on the road without any further incident. Dang! One mustn't be distracted when riding. It's not like being on four wheels where mistakes are a little more forgiving.
This is so unlike me! I'm almost always so cheerful. I seem to be stuck in a perpetual Pity Party. [sigh] I gotta shake this thing.
Oh, well, maybe tomorrow will be better.
~ Ride Safe ~