Tuesday, September 10, 2013

Bluer Than Blue

I just can't seem to shake it ... the overwhelming saddness I have felt since Maxie died.

It's been nearly a week.

I thought I would "feel better" by now. I think I've tried everything: cleaning the house, putting away or throwing out her things, talking to Sweetie about it, going for long walks, getting enough sleep, a B-12 shot, prayer, reading God's Word. We even had our good friends over (in whom's company I always enjoy) and watched our favorite funny movie "Young Frankenstein".

Nope. I'm still a dope.

I still see her in my mnd's eye. I can still feel her near me and I start crying all over again. I can't concentrate or feel happy about anything. I'm scared to death to ride. Case in point: I almost had a bad accident when I lost a dear friend to ovarian cancer in January 2007. We went for a ride on our respective metal steeds soon after Maggie went to Heaven and I almost ran mine off the road! Thank goodness the new rumble strips on the roadsides shook me out of the stupor and I put the bike back on the road without any further incident. Dang! One mustn't be distracted when riding. It's not like being on four wheels where mistakes are a little more forgiving.

This is so unlike me! I'm almost always so cheerful. I seem to be stuck in a perpetual Pity Party. [sigh] I gotta shake this thing.

Oh, well, maybe tomorrow will be better.

~ Ride Safe ~


Blackberry Lane said...

I'm so sorry. Maxie was a part of your life for long. I know you miss her companionship in everything you do. Give yourself the time you need to grieve. I continue to pray for you. With love, M

linda eller said...

Knowing Maxie was such a big part of your life, every single day, it is such an empty feeling without her. I always hated when someone told me that 'time' would take care of it, but I also have learned, that is true. Be strong. Love your new background, btw.

Simply Linda said...

Sparky()--I am so sorry. I agree with Mildred, give yourself some time..on a happier note, I love your new blog look! Very pretty!! Good job my friend!!!!