Sunday, February 8, 2009

Just The Tax Ma'am

Since it's officially tax season, and the cross-hairs are on us all here in America, unless you're a politician, I guess they're exempt now ... I thought I'd get y'all in the mood.

To quote the great Bugs Bunny, "Ain't I a stinka'?"

And just remember ... if Obama's "Stimulus Plan" passes (i.e. bribe paybacks to big corporations for being elected), what's below will get a whole lot worse!

By the way, I didn't write this poem.

Tax his land,
Tax his bed,
Tax the table
At which he's fed.

Tax his tractor,
Tax his mule,
Teach him taxes
Are the rule.

Tax his work,
Tax his pay,
He works for peanuts

Tax his cow,
Tax his goat,
Tax his pants,
Tax his coat.

Tax his ties,
Tax his shirt,
Tax his work,
Tax his dirt.

Tax his tobacco,
Tax his drink,
Tax him if he
Tries to think.

Tax his cigars,
Tax his beers,
If he cries
Tax his tears.

Tax his car,
Tax his gas,
Find other ways
To tax him fast!

Tax all he has
Then let him know
That you won't be done
Till he has no dough.

When he screams and hollers,
Then tax him more,
Tax him till
He's good and sore.

Then tax his coffin,
Tax his grave,
Tax the sod in
Which he's laid.

Put these words
upon his tomb,
'Taxes drove me
to my doom...'

When he's gone,
Do not relax,
It's time to apply
The inheritance tax.

The Taxes Referred To Above
Accounts Receivable Tax
Building Permit Tax
CDL license Tax
Cigarette Tax
Corporate Income Tax
Dog License Tax
Excise Taxes
Federal Income Tax
Federal Unemployment Tax (FUTA)
Fishing License Tax
Food License Tax
Fuel Permit Tax
Gasoline Tax (42 cents per gallon)
Gross Receipts Tax
Hunting License Tax
Inheritance Tax
Inventory Tax
IRS Interest Charges, IRS Penalties (tax on top of taxes due)
Liquor Tax
Luxury Taxes
Marriage License Tax
Medicare Tax
Personal Property Tax
Privilege Tax
Property Tax
Real Estate Tax
Service Charge Tax
Social Security Tax
Road Usage Tax
Sales Tax
Recreational Vehicle Tax
School Tax
State Income Tax
State Unemployment Tax (SUTA)
Telephone Federal Excise Tax
Telephone Federal Universal Service Fee Tax
Telephone Federal, State and Local Surcharge Taxes
Telephone Minimum Usage Surcharge Tax
Telephone Recurring and Non-recurring Charges Tax
Telephone State and Local Tax
Telephone Usage Charge Tax
Use Tax
Utility Taxes
Vehicle License Registration Tax
Vehicle Sales Tax
Watercraft Registration Tax
Well Permit Tax
Workers Compensation Tax

Also, now that we are retired, this season I learned that up to a certain percentage of earnings from Social Security income are now taxed (per former President Bill "Cantkeephispantszipped" Clinton ... Hello AARP, where's your outrage for the elderly and on fixed income??!). Social Security is a tax to start with. The Gangster Government sticks a gun to our head and demands we "Pay up or else", then doles it back piecemeal "per needs" when 'they' consider you old enough AND taxes you again for that!!?


There is something very wrong with this picture.

Not one of these taxes existed 100 years ago, and our nation was the most prosperous in the world. We had absolutely no national debt, had the largest middle class in the world, and Mom stayed home to raise the kids.

What in the world happened? Can you spell 'politicians'? And that's Republicans and Democrats alike.

And I still have to 'press 1' for English!?!?

We put animals and plants on Endangered Species Lists.

Maybe it's actually we Americans that are truly endangered.

♥ ∞


JBA said...

I started thinking about taxes yesterday. Blech!

Hope you are doing well, healing and taking it easy! Don't wear yourself out...


Linda said...

Amen Sparky! Well put! Yep on the Social Sec. taxes, as we live on that too. BUT, you know, I sat there yesterday doing taxes, and since we didn't make anything to claim and the house interest, taxes, AND student loan interest, didn't add up to much of we don't claim this yr. Kinda balanced itself out. Stupid new rules this yr. in the tax booklet. ANYWAYS, YEP..IN TOTAL AGREEANCE WITH YOUR POST.

Hope you healing well. Glad to see you posting and commmenting. Blessings

Iva said...

I just had to read your blog post (especially the last part) to my Man Beast. He started laughing - we agree with you 100%.

We aren't anticipating much next year. We got back less than we anticipated - and we figure it's gonna get all messed up anyway.

Anonymous said...

Medicated or unmedicated that was a good post. Keep getting better and y'all have a good week.

Marie Reed said...

That is a simple and very poignant poem!

Anonymous said...

Ugh....I started gathering together tax paperwork yesterday! I love this post.
How are you feeling today?

Sparky ♥ ∞ said...

Hi y'all,
I can't believe a person can have neck surgery, go home the same day and be up walking and talking the next. That's so cool. My stitches itch like CRAZY though. But I'm in the pink medically, as they say. Thanks for asking. :o)

Sorry to put such a depressing post. But I hope I put a little humor into the tax season.

Thanks for stopping by. ♥ ∞

Maria said...

I am scared of big taxes Men. I don't know I am not read for it.

I include you to my tag list. Hope you grab them. I wanna know some of your thoughts: What do I love about my husband. Hope you grab them. Take care. Thanks for the comments.

steviewren said...

I'm dreading having my taxes done because I'm pretty sure I'll have to pay this if they haven't already taking a chunk out!

Glad you are feeling so well!

david mcmahon said...

Tax for the memories. Er, sorry, I meant to say ``thanks'', not ``tax''!

Anonymous said...

Amen, sister!! I'm glad you're recovered enough to have this much "spark" :)

Leatherdykeuk said...

I'm English, but we have a similar set ;(

Sparky ♥ ∞ said...

I hear that y'all have it even worse than America! You have my deepest sympathies.
Thanks for stopping by. ♥ ∞