Caution! This post is not for the faint of heart. Or the humorless. *smile*
I have done something so epically stupid, so incredibly dumb, that it should go down in the annuals of DUMBNESS. What I did is so historically legendary brainless that it should be passed down by oral or written tradition as something one should not do. Moi deserves a picture in Websters next to the word DUMB.
/dem/
NORTH AMERICANinformal
stupid.
"a dumb question"
synonyms: stupid, unintelligen, ignorant, dense, brainless, mindless, foolish, slow, dull, simple, empty-headed, stunned, vacuous, vapid, idiotic, half-baked, imbecilic, bovine; see Sparky
What have a done to warrant such self deprecating abuse? Well, you may ask.
Our first attempt at home gardening in eight or nine years had been progressing very nicely. The little seeds so lovingly planted, prayed for, watched daily, and monitored unceasingly where flourishing with all the gentle care. They had even survived the over watering from the Spring rains. But oh Bright One Wannabe here, noticed the plants needed a little fertilizer. All they needed was a little boost. A little artificial nourishment lovingly administered by it's hungry caregivers. It was also determined that our lush centipede grass needs attention. The grass has been assaulted by an odious little weed called Spurge. A nasty small weed that's slowly choking out the grass. So, after a trip to the local Ace, and purchasing the proper fertilizers for each necessity, Hubby and I set about taking care of the beloved plants. He carefully weeded between all the rows in the Springtime swelter, fighting off the bugs and the dizziness from lack of exercise. I carefully set about laying the fertilizer beside each plant, making sure to not touch the stems or leaves. It was tedious, nauseating, fatiguing work which my body is loudly rebelling against. I'm not accustomed to forced labor anymore. But, I wasn't complaining as my mouth was anxiously awaiting the yummy food yet to come.
This afternoon, my husband went out and checked the plants. He came rushing in with his face all ashen white. I ask, what's wrong??! He replied, "They're dieing!" WHAT!? Horrors of horrors, he's right. The vegetables are all wilted and burnt! What happened?!
I did a little investigating of the packages and guess who picked up the wrong fertilizer and proceeded to destroy the vegetables? Yep. Me. The epically DUMB blond woman. I am hanging my head in shame. Now all the beautiful little seedlings are withering away in a slow and premature death.
I am dutifully ashamed.
I think I even heard their little voices whispering last night.
"Why did they DO this to US!!??"
"I don't feel so good ..."
"They seemed so nice too ..."
"Don't they LOVE us?!"
"MURDERER!"
[That had to be the Green Beans. I've never trusted something with strings in it anyway. *lol*]
Kinda creepy when the plants trash talk. But I've betrayed them.
I'm such a coward that I can't even bring myself to go out there and look the little guys in the face. I am so ashamed!
This is not ending well. *sigh* And not only is spreading the wrong fertilizer killing the existing seedlings, it's pretty much salted the earth for the rest of the season. Unless, that is, I want to get out there in the heat and bugs and scrape the ground free of said debauchery.
Hubby said that possibly we can replant in a couple of weeks but I feel discouraged. After all that hard work. Ruined! The weeks of waiting and loving care. We no longer can look forward to enjoying the homegrown fare. No more looking forward to our own mouthwatering Ford Hook Limas, Green Beans, Cucumbers, Zucchini, or Yellow Squash. I think the Tomatoes survived the massacre but only because Hubby fertilized them with the CORRECT package marked "Tomatoes And Vegetables". Everything else seems to be a wash out.
Ride Safe,
