BMW R 1200 GS Short Rider

You've gotta see this.


Isn't that cool? I'm not confidant enough to pull this stunt on my V-Strom.

Not yet, anyway. *smile*

Ride Safe,

Funny Friday ~ How Do Court Reporters Keep Straight Faces?

These are from a book called Disorder in the Courts and are things people actually said in court, word for word, taken down and published by court reporters that had the torment of staying calm while the exchanges were taking place.

ATTORNEY: What was the first thing your husband said to you that morning?
WITNESS: He said, 'Where am I, Cathy?'
ATTORNEY: And why did that upset you?
WITNESS: My name is Susan!
____________________________________

ATTORNEY: What gear were you in at the moment of the impact?
WITNESS: Gucci sweats and Reeboks.
____________________________________

ATTORNEY: Are you sexually active?
WITNESS: No, I just lie there.
____________________________________

ATTORNEY: What is your date of birth?
WITNESS: July 18th.
ATTORNEY: What year?
WITNESS: Every year.
____________________________________

ATTORNEY: How old is your son, the one living with you?
WITNESS: Thirty-eight or thirty-five, I can't remember which.
ATTORNEY: How long has he lived with you?
WITNESS: Forty-five years.
____________________________________

ATTORNEY: This myasthenia gravis, does it affect your memory at all?
WITNESS: Yes.
ATTORNEY: And in what ways does it affect your memory?
WITNESS: I forget..
ATTORNEY: You forget? Can you give us an example of something you forgot?
____________________________________

ATTORNEY: Now doctor, isn't it true that when a person dies in his sleep, he doesn't know about it until the next morning?
WITNESS: Did you actually pass the bar exam?
____________________________________

ATTORNEY: The youngest son, the 20-year-old, how old is he?
WITNESS: He's 20, much like your IQ.
____________________________________

ATTORNEY: Were you present when your picture was taken?
WITNESS: Are you shitting me?
____________________________________

ATTORNEY: So the date of conception (of the baby) was August 8th?
WITNESS: Yes.
ATTORNEY: And what were you doing at that time?
WITNESS: Getting laid
____________________________________

ATTORNEY: She had three children , right?
WITNESS: Yes.
ATTORNEY: How many were boys?
WITNESS: None.
ATTORNEY: Were there any girls?
WITNESS: Your Honor, I think I need a different attorney. Can I get a new attorney?
_____________________________________

ATTORNEY: How was your first marriage terminated?
WITNESS: By death..
ATTORNEY: And by whose death was it terminated?
WITNESS: Take a guess.
___________________________________________

ATTORNEY: Can you describe the individual?
WITNESS: He was about medium height and had a beard
ATTORNEY: Was this a male or a female?
WITNESS: Unless the Circus was in town I'm going with male.
_____________________________________

ATTORNEY: Is your appearance here this morning pursuant to a deposition notice which I sent to your attorney?
WITNESS: No, this is how I dress when I go to work.
______________________________________

ATTORNEY: Doctor , how many of your autopsies have you performed on dead people?
WITNESS: All of them. The live ones put up too much of a fight.
_________________________________________

ATTORNEY: ALL your responses MUST be oral, OK? What school did you go to?
WITNESS: Oral ...
_________________________________________

ATTORNEY: Do you recall the time that you examined the body?
WITNESS: The autopsy started around 8:30 PM
ATTORNEY: And Mr. Denton was dead at the time?
WITNESS: If not, he was by the time I finished.
__________________________________________

ATTORNEY: Are you qualified to give a urine sample?
WITNESS: Are you qualified to ask that question?

_________________________________________
And last:

ATTORNEY: Doctor, before you performed the autopsy, did you check for a pulse?
WITNESS: No.
ATTORNEY: Did you check for blood pressure?
WITNESS: No.
ATTORNEY: Did you check for breathing?
WITNESS: No..
ATTORNEY: So, then it is possible that the patient was alive when you began the autopsy?
WITNESS: No.
ATTORNEY: How can you be so sure, Doctor?
WITNESS: Because his brain was sitting on my desk in a jar.
ATTORNEY: I see, but could the patient have still been alive, nevertheless?
WITNESS: Yes, it is possible that he could have been alive and practicing law.

_________________________________________

Ride Safe,

Life's A Ditch And Then You Die

In 2011, Forbes Magazine Staff writer Rich Karlgaard wrote an article on our ever shrinking economy.

"It’s one thing to fall into a ditch. Quite another to paint and decorate the ditch and call it home. When you hear the U.S. economy has entered a “new normal” period of 2% growth and 9% unemployment, you’re listening to ditch decorators. The economy can do much better. Technology is advancing. Most people want to better themselves. There’s no reason to stay in this rut." Source

For the past two years, I've been explaining to anyone that will listen, we are not in a recession. We are in, or close to, another Great Depression. Today I learn that the Commerce Department has acknowledged that our economy is "... contracting at a 0.5 percent rate." (Source)

Albeit, they're blaming the weather, which of course, is a lie. It's the unconstitutional regulations by unelected government officials. Contributing factors are the Affordable Care Act (ObamaCare). The willy nilly printing of money. The low interest rates which are only enriching bankers. The rampant inflation. The leaving of major corporations to offshore headquarters because of the aforementioned. The ever increasing taxes. The glaring incompetence displayed by elected leaders. The lack of morals by the majority. And on and on. It's an enormous economic, immorally driven snowball heading straight for financial hell. It's unsustainable. It's a comedy of errors contributing to a high rate of small businesses and family farms closing their doors forever. Small town America is disappearing before our very eyes which is leading to more and more urban decay and despair.

Even our pets are not immune. Ever increasingly, I'm seeing animals abandoned on the side of the road. It's a sad state of affairs!

The biggest obstacle of all is the man who calls himself Obama. He is the unmentionable 'leavings' stuck in the sewer pipe of America, clogging up commerce and denying Americans access to liberties. He and his kind call what is good evil and what is evil good. He is truly a type of anti-Christ.

Elected officials have become ditch decorators. They've chosen to do nothing to stop the madness. They are apparently hoping we will live in that painted, heavily mortgaged, boring concrete grey ditch while they live in palaces stolen from the Middle Class.

I wish paint was still cheap.

Ride Safe,

Better a poor man whose walk is blameless than a fool whose lips are perverse. It is not good to have zeal without knowledge, nor to be hasty and miss the way. A man's own folly ruins his life, yet his heart rages against the LORD. Wealth brings many friends, but a poor man's friend deserts him. A false witness will not go unpunished, and he who pours out lies will not go free.

[Proverbs 19: 1-5]

The Sweet Smell Of Undress

Caught ya lookin' ... *giggle*

This morning, the unseasonably cool temperatures where calling. It was a siren song of the South of "Come outside and play."

As if I needed a good excuse to exercise the metal steed, I told myself I was dearly in need of more No Natz Bug Repellent from Thompsons in Baxley.

That's my story and I'm stickin' to it.

This is what happens when one

puts the camera and the iced

Peanut Butter Energy Balls in the same tank bag.

Guilty! :))

Appling county really needs to

consider bringing back road side tables.

After the ride, I noticed my usually white riding jacket was a dingy grey. Hubby's was so dirty it looked completely black. We took the time to hand wash the jackets. Then I gently pulled all the liners from the helmets to be cleaned. Hubby washed down the outside of the helmets.

Remember this Dial soap commercial from the mid to late 1970s?

It's a woman is riding her bike and the lyrics are

"then Dial has enough to bring you home again,

still refreshed, feeling fine ... aren't you glad you use Dial?"

So we're smelling sweet now! And it's definitely Chef Leftover night.

Ride Safe,

Recipe: Peanut Butter Energy Balls

This recipe was received from a local dear friend the other day. At first I thought, this sounds dreadful. Dry oatmeal? But, Hubby was a brave soul and made a batch. Now I'm hooked! Please don't be put off by the sorry photo. It looks like something the dogs left for me on the front lawn, I know, but they really are good, low in sugar and salt, and are a life saver if one has low blood sugar as I do.

Peanut Butter Energy Balls
by Vicki D.

1 cup dry, uncooked oatmeal
1/2 cup flax seed
1/2 cup low sugar peanut butter (I recommend Simply Jiff)
1/3 cup honey
1/2 cup raisins (optional) and/or chocolate chips, etc.

Wet hands. Roll into bite size balls. Refrigerate on cookie sheet for at least 30 minutes. Keep refrigerated until eaten.
Makes 12 or more depending on size, amount of ingredients, etc.
Enjoy!

Ride Safe,

Memorial Day Post 2014

In Loving Memory Of All Those Who Sacrificed For Our Nation

All Gave Some

Some Gave All

Honor And Respect To The Hero's In Uniform

We Will Never Forget

Blessed is the nation whose God is the LORD; 

and the people whom he hath chosen for his own inheritance.

Psalm 33:12 KJV

Ride Safe,

Two Minutes With The Bible ~ What Grace Is

What Grace Is 

by Pastor Cornelius R. Stam

Berean Bible Society

Printer Friendly Version

Never let the devil deceive you into supposing that God planned sin as “a gracious means to a glorious end,” for then salvation from sin would be simple justice, not grace. No, you cannot legitimately charge God with your sin. It is to the guilty, the undeserving, far and wide, that God offers “the forgiveness of sins according to the riches of His grace” (Eph. 1:7).

There are two significant phrases in Eph. 2 which shed clear light upon the character, the nature, of grace. They are found in Verses 2 and 3, which speak of the unsaved as “children [Gr., huiois, full-grown sons] of disobedience” and “children [Gr., tekna, born ones] of wrath.”

Meditate for a moment on these phrases: “Children of disobedience” and “children of wrath.”It is against this dark, black background of deserved wrath, that we read further:

“BUT GOD, who is RICH IN MERCY, for His GREAT LOVE wherewith He loved us,
“Even when we were dead in sins, hath quickened us [given us life] together with Christ (BY GRACE ARE YE SAVED), 

“And hath raised us up together and made us sit together in heavenly places in Christ Jesus: 

“That in the ages to come He might show THE EXCEEDING RICHES OF HIS GRACE IN HIS KINDNESS TOWARD US THROUGH CHRIST JESUS” (Eph. 2:4-7).

Somehow it takes a load off one’s heart and mind to come to the end of his rope, as it were, and admit that he is a sinner, deserving God’s wrath. How sweet to the ears of such is the wonderful message of redemption by grace, through the finished work of Christ at Calvary. We were all the “children [full-grown sons] of disobedience”: and therefore “by nature the children [born ones] of wrath”: “But God!” When hope seemed gone, He intervened and now offers salvation to all by grace, through faith.

“Believe on the Lord Jesus Christ and thou shalt be saved” (Acts 16:31).

---

To the Reader:
Some of our Two Minutes articles were written many years ago by Pastor C. R. Stam for publication in newspapers. When many of these articles were later compiled in book form, Pastor Stam wrote this word of explanation in the Preface:

"It should be borne in mind that the newspaper column, Two Minutes With the Bible, has now been published for many years, so that local, national and international events are discussed as if they occurred only recently. Rather than rewrite or date such articles, we have left them just as they were when first published. This, we felt, would add to the interest, especially since our readers understand that they first appeared as newspaper articles."

To this we would add that the same is true for the articles written by others that we continue to add, on a regular basis, to the Two Minutes library. We hope that you'll agree that while some of the references in these articles are dated, the spiritual truths taught therein are timeless.