If God Had Voicemail

I saw this on another blog and couldn't resist:

"Thank you for calling heaven.

I am sorry, all of our angels and saints are busy helping other sinners right now. However, your prayer is important to us and we will answer it in the order it was received. Please stay on the line.

If you would like to speak to:
God, press 1.
Jesus, press 2.
The Holy Spirit, press 3.
If you would like to hear King David sing a Psalm while you are holding, press 4.

To find a loved one who has been assigned to Heaven, press 5, then enter his or her social security number followed by the pound sign. (If you get a negative response, please hang up and try area code 666.) For reservations in heaven, please enter J-O-H-N 3:16

For answers to nagging questions about dinosaurs, the age of the earth, life on other planets, and where Noah's Ark is, please wait until you arrive.

If you are calling after hours and need emergency assistance, please contact your local pastor."

Read more: http://www.beliefnet.com/Entertainment/Joke-of-the-Day/Daily-Joke.aspx#ixzz1GDXYjeJX

Looks Like We've Gotta Bug And Other Things

Our household has been inundated with a rhino virus this week. I've been so out-of-sorts, I felt like ...

"Edgar Suit" in Men In Black
... yeah, like "we've gotta bug" and I got stuck with the Edgar Suit. But time, and enough drugs, heals all wounds. Hubby had a mild version and my knock-me-to-my-knees-and-cry-Uncle is quickly dispelling.

Onwards and upwards.

I've had time to think and that's not always a good thing. I start reminiscing when I'm not distracted by modern life. I miss having a waist. I miss old friends. I miss having energy. And I miss my little dog Sammy. My dad's miniature schnauzer suffered from congestive heart failure for many months and then finally succumbed to renal failure. He passed on June 10th. Poor little guy. Sam could be a pain in the behind but I miss him. He had so much personality.

Now my other little mini, Maxie, has suddenly taken sick. After a trip outside to take care of "busines", she was attacked by mysterious forces and had a terrible reaction to something. Poor thing was sick! We have yet to find the culprit. From that she contracted a UTI (Urinary Tract Infection) and needed antibiotics. Then even with treatment, she kept wetting at inopportune times. Now it seems she has a hormone deficiency (welcome to my world kid!) and is on medicine for that. Good grief! So much for saving money this month ... NOT!

In the “has anybody else tried this“ catagory: Hubby and I have pretty much given up carbo's. We’re losing weight like crazy and not having any trouble with hunger pains. Yesterday, he made lasagna. For the recipe, he substituted zucchini for the noodles. IT IS SCRUMPTIOUS!! And totally quilt free. One cuts up about 10 zucchini length-wise, pre-bake them in the oven, then use that instead of noodles. Oh, be sure to add a little fennell seed or it won't taste Italian. I wonder what wonderful creation he’ll come up with next.

I’m praying that Hurricane Irene will drop some of that lovely rain on us. Or, better still, maybe the Lord will send a Tropical Storm or two to the Texas Hill Country. They need it desperately!

Well, I’m tired again. This thing is kickin’ my backside. Hope y’all are having a good week and not thinking too much. :)

Access Denied

Anyone else having trouble leaving comments on various blogs? I am. Whilest attempting to leave a comment on some blogs, I get this message:

Your current account (xxxx@yahoo.com) does not have access to view this page.
Click here to logout and change accounts.

Ooooookkkk.

So, I popped over to Blogger's so-called Help page and found this little ditty:

Here are some things that worked for a couple of people.

1) Before attempting to Login in Make sure the "Remember Me" Checkbox is UNTICKED.
2) Make sure you are running the latest version of your browser, if not, upgraded it.
3) Make sure you REALLY have cleared both your COOKIES and CACHE
4) Once Cleared shut down the browser
5) Then Open it again and CHeck that the Cookies and Cache are indeed Empty. This is very important. The problem seems to be with corrupt cookies and cache files
6) If that is OK try going to www.blogger.com . Don't login yet, press CTRL-F5 and then try logging in again
7) If that still does not work try logging into Gmail first and then go to www.blogger.com and try again
8) If that does not work try going to this address http://www2.blogger.com/home
9) If that does not work try going to draft.blogger.com
10) If you use IE8 or IE9 try pressing the compatibility button (at the end of the address bar) when you're on your blog page.
11) If all those fail, try installing another browser to see if that works eg Firefox, Chrome, Opera etc
12) If you comments box on your blog is not appearing, change from Embed Comments to Popup or Full-Screen until the issue is fixed. Also try. Or you can try , but backup your blog template first, is to try resetting all your defaults. see screenshot. You do this from the Design, Edit HTML screen. (http://i54.tinypic.com/vfv883.png) This fixes about 99% of issues with the missing comments box.

Got that?

Good, because I think there's going to be a test. And I'll never remember all that.

So, if you get a personal e-mail from me rather than a blog comment, you'll know why. :)

And Now A Message Just For You

I don't know why, or for whom, but I feel led to share this message. Someone needs this today. My step-mother very wisely once told me that when she dies, she figured it would be like moving from one room to another to be with Christ. How right she was.

If anyone has any questions about how to be saved, please feel free to ask.

"Fear not, for I am with you; be not dismayed, for I am your God; I will strengthen you, I will help you, I will uphold you with my righteous right hand" [Isaiah 41:10]

God bless,
Sparky :)

* * * * * *

Billy Graham
My Answer

Q: How long will it take us to get to heaven, once we die? Will it be like space travel is today, taking maybe millions of years to get there? — K.S.

A: No, our journey from earth to heaven won't be like modern space travel, taking perhaps millions of years for us to arrive! Don't let this concern you; when we die we won't be bound any longer by the physical limitations we experience now.

Instead, the Bible tells us that if we know Christ, we will be in God's presence immediately after we die. How is this possible?

When we die, we enter into a whole new level of existence — an existence governed by spiritual rules.After recalling all the trials and problems we experience in this life, Paul declared, "We are confident, I say, and would prefer to be away from the body and at home with the Lord" (2 Corinthians 5:8). Never forget: You and I were not meant for this world alone. We were meant to live forever —and we will, because death is not the end. Death instead is like a doorway, ushering us into eternity either with God in heaven, or without God and without hope in that place of absolute despair the Bible calls hell. Not one word in the Bible about heaven should make you not want to go there — and not one word about hell in the Bible should make you want to go there.

Is heaven your hope? Do you know for sure that if you were to die tonight, you would be safely in God's presence forever? You can be sure, by trusting Christ and what He did for you by His death and resurrection. Put your faith and confidence in Him today.

(Send your queries to "My Answer," c/o Billy Graham, Billy Graham Evangelistic Association, 1 Billy Graham Parkway, Charlotte, N.C., 28201; call 1-(877) 2-GRAHAM, or visit the Web site for the Billy Graham Evangelistic Association: www.billygraham.org.)

Funny Friday ~ Disappoint Mints