Happy Hallowe'en

I LOVE All Hallows Eve! Hallowe'en used to be such fun for me as a child. Sometimes I miss dressing up and being silly. Aw, well, can't remain a child forever ... :) So, to soothe the kid in me that wants to have a little harmless escapism and be 'terrified', Turner Classic Movies is having back-to-back old horror classics (and not so classic) all day tomorrow!

I.am.in.heaven.

Here's the lineup for that day per their website:

6:15 AM Freaks (1932)
A lady trapeze artist violates the code of the side show when she plots to murder her midget husband. Cast: Wallace Ford, Olga Baclanova, Harry Earles. Dir: Tod Browning. BW-62 mins, TV-PG, CC

7:45 AM Mark Of The Vampire (1935)
Vampires seem to be connected to an unsolved murder. Cast: Lionel Barrymore, Elizabeth Allan, Bela Lugosi. Dir: Tod Browning. BW-61 mins, TV-PG, CC

9:00 AM Devil Doll, The (1936)
A Devil's Island escapee shrinks murderous slaves and sells them to his victims as dolls. Cast: Lionel Barrymore, Maureen O'Sullivan, Frank Lawton. Dir: Tod Browning. BW-78 mins, TV-PG, CC

10:30 AM Terror, The (1963)
A lost soldier discovers a mysterious beauty haunting a half-deserted castle. Cast: Boris Karloff, Jack Nicholson, Sandra Knight. Dir: Roger Corman. C-79 mins, TV-PG, CC, Letterbox Format

12:15 PM Bucket of Blood, A (1959)
A jealous Bohemian wannabe resorts to murder to perpetuate his new-found success as a sculptor. Cast: Dick Miller, Barboura Morris, Antony Carbone. Dir: Roger Corman. C-65 mins, TV-PG, Letterbox Format

1:30 PM Tower Of London (1962)
A hunchback murders his way to the British throne. Cast: Vincent Price, Michael Pate, Joan Freeman. Dir: Roger Corman. BW-80 mins, TV-14, Letterbox Format

3:00 PM Tingler, The (1959)
A scientist discovers an organism that lives on fear. Cast: Vincent Price, Judith Evelyn, Darryl Hickman. Dir: William Castle. BW-82 mins, TV-PG, CC, Letterbox Format

4:30 PM Mad Magician, The (1954)
Betrayed by his manager, a master magician uses his skills to seek revenge. Cast: Vincent Price, Mary Murphy, Eva Gabor. Dir: John Brahm. BW-73 mins, TV-PG

6:15 PM House Of Wax (1953)
A scarred sculptor re-populates his ravaged wax museum with human corpses. Cast: Vincent Price, Phyllis Kirk, Carolyn Jones. Dir: Andre de Toth. C-88 mins, TV-PG

8:00 PM House On Haunted Hill (1959)
A millionaire offers total strangers a fortune to spend the night in a haunted house. Cast: Vincent Price, Richard Long, Carol Ohmart. Dir: William Castle. BW-75 mins, TV-14, CC, Letterbox Format

9:30 PM Haunting, The (1963)
A team of psychic investigators moves into a haunted house that destroys all who live there. Cast: Julie Harris, Claire Bloom, Russ Tamblyn. Dir: Robert Wise. BW-112 mins, TV-PG, CC, Letterbox Format

11:30 PM Poltergeist (1982)
Evil spirits abduct a suburban family's daughter causing chaos and havoc. Cast: Craig T. Nelson, Beatrice Straight, Dominique Dunne. Dir: Tobe Hooper. C-115 mins, TV-MA, CC, Letterbox Format

1:30 AM Phantom of the Opera, The (1925)
In this silent film, a hideously deformed man haunts the sewers beneath the Paris Opera. Cast: Lon Chaney, Mary Philbin, Norman Kerry. Dir: Rupert Julian. BW-90 mins, TV-G

3:15 AM Quiet Place in the Country, A (1969)
A beautiful ghost inspires a painter to commit murder. Cast: Franco Nero, Vanessa Redgrave, George Geret. Dir: Elio Petri. C-106 mins, TV-MA, Letterbox Format


Cool beans, huh? Well, go make some popcorn, turn down the lights. Let's all curl up on our favorite chairs and hold your guy or gal tight. We're all in for a day of good old fashioned fun!

Oh, and here's a cute Hallowe'en card for everyone. Don't worry, it's kid safe.

Happy Hallowe'en!! :)

Puns For Educated Minds ~ Funny Friday

Puns for Educated Minds

1. The fattest knight at King Arthur's round table was Sir Cumference. He acquired his size from too much pi.

2. I thought I saw an eye doctor on an Alaskan island, but it turned out to be an optical Aleutian .

3. She was only a whiskey maker, but he loved her still.

4. A rubber band pistol was confiscated from algebra class, because it was a weapon of math disruption.

5. No matter how much you push the envelope, it'll still be stationery.

6. A dog gave birth to puppies near the road and was cited for littering.

7. A grenade thrown into a kitchen in France would result in Linoleum Blownapart.

8. Two silk worms had a race. They ended up in a tie.

9. A hole has been found in the nudist camp wall.. The police are looking into it.

10. Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana.

11. Atheism is a non-prophet organization.

12. Two hats were hanging on a hat rack in the hallway. One hat said to the other: 'You stay here; I'll go on a head.'

13. I wondered why the baseball kept getting bigger. Then it hit me.

14. A sign on the lawn at a drug rehab center said: 'Keep off the Grass.'

15. The midget fortune-teller who escaped from prison was a small medium at large.

16. The soldier who survived mustard gas and pepper spray is now a seasoned veteran.

17. A backward poet writes inverse.

18. In a democracy it's your vote that counts. In feudalism it's your count that votes.

19. When cannibals ate a missionary, they got a taste of religion.

20. If you jumped off the bridge in Paris, you'd be in Seine .

21. A vulture boards an airplane, carrying two dead raccoons. The stewardess looks at him and says, 'I'm sorry, sir, only one carrion allowed per passenger.'

22. Two fish swim into a concrete wall. One turns to the other and says 'Dam!'

23. Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were chilly, so they lit a fire in the craft. Unsurprisingly it sank, proving once again that you can't have your kayak and heat it too.

24. Two hydrogen atoms meet. One says, 'I've lost my electron.' The other says 'Are you sure?' The first replies, 'Yes, I'm positive.'

25. Did you hear about the Buddhist who refused Novocain during a root canal? His goal: transcend dental medication.

26. There was the person who sent ten puns to friends, with the hope that at least one of the puns would make them laugh. No pun in ten did.

Finally, A True Story ... NOT!

Here's a picture of the new world record whitetail.

It was taken by the cousin of a co-worker's sister's, uncle's, best friend's, son-in-law's, niece's hairdresser's, neighbor's ex-boyfriend's oldest nephew.

Reportedly it will score 2603-1/8 by B & C standard and was shot in West Texas on a really windy day, 85 degrees downhill, around a curve at 900 yards with a 22 mag.

Supposedly, this deer had killed a Brahma bull, two Land Rovers and six Jehovah's Witnesses in the last two weeks alone. They said it was winning a fight with Bigfoot when it was shot. It had also been confirmed that the buck had been seen drinking discharge water from a nuclear power plant.

This has been checked on Snopes who confirmed it. Honest!!!

Sincerely,
Barry Obama

This post is dedicated to all those who are just as tired of "true" internet stories as I am. :))